I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
