also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
