RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
