If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
