i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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