and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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