Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
