No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
