my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
