She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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