he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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