i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize