Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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