he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
