Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
