I wish I only lived at night.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
