I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
