I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
