We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
