Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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