honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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