Bisexual people are plain selfish.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize