When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
