You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize