Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
