It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
