I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
