the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize