Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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