It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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