All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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