I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
