How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
