Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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