I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
