I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize