don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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