Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
