It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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