bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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