haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
