She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
