We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
A+ Viking dick
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
