Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
