Well apparently he's into motor boating.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize