is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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