Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
