it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
