So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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