I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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