shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
