That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
