Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize