I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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