in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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