How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
