Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
