can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
