he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
vagina is talking i cant
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
