i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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