I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
