She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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