Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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