haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize