Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
