they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
