I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
