that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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