I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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