oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
