sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
