You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Found the puke drawer
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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