peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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