I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
