he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
