theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just had sex on a roof
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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