do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
