The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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